As a citizen of the Internet, you are entitled to certain inalienable rights. But your Internet marketing agency probably doesn't want you to know that. Because they secretly hate you.

You have...

• The right to a Web site so badass, it knocks satellites into the sun.
• The right to idiot-proof e-marketing that will still let you profit from idiots.
• The right to share your videos conveniently through an embeddable player.
• The right to go out clubbing and call yourself "the embeddable player."
• The right to social networking that won't make you weep for the future of humanity.
• The right to plausible deniability when a "viral" stunt crashes and burns.
• The right to DEMAND JUSTICE!